National disability employment awareness month: Shifting the conversation with Jason Winckler

My wife and I welcomed our first child, Lorrel, into our lives on August 5, 2005, and as most parents will tell you, our lives were forever changed. For us, the magnitude of “forever changed” took on a whole new meaning in May 2009, when Lorrel received her official diagnosis of “High Functioning Autism, Mild.”

My wife and I embraced the diagnosis and immediately began working with Lorrel’s doctors to establish a plan to help her navigate the complicated roads ahead. Every decision related to Lorrel’s care was made jointly by my wife and I after careful analysis and prayer.

Lorrel entered the early childhood intervention program at age 4 and began preparing for the challenging transition into elementary school the following year. The transition into elementary was rough, but constant communication with Lorrel’s teachers and the school administration allowed us to overcome her early struggles and set the stage for her development plans. Together, her teachers and our family learned the best accommodations and how to connect with her through love, patience and compassion.

The constant collaboration between her teachers, the administration and our family was vital to Lorrel’s progress over the years. In her elementary school, we focused on communication and handling unexpected situations. As Lorrel moved into middle school, we began teaching her how to recognize social cues and interact with others. By high school, we focused on self-advocacy skills and preparing her for life after graduation. Lorrel is now a sophomore at the University of North Texas (UNT) in Denton and is functioning very well as an independent adult. This past summer, she completed her first paid internship, which was a huge milestone for her.

Life with a special needs child has not been easy, and we had to make difficult decisions over the years to balance Lorrel’s needs with those of our other four children. We couldn’t afford all of the recommended therapies, but we believe we always made the best choice for our entire family at the time. Lorrel’s story is one of success because we, her parents, accepted her condition and didn’t try to change who she is on the inside.

There have been heartbreaking moments watching Lorrel miss out on typical childhood experiences. She has never been invited to a sleepover, she has no close friends and she spends most of her time alone. However, she will be the first one to tell you that her life is just fine and she’s perfectly happy being herself. She is one of the happiest, most caring individuals you will ever meet and goes out of her way to make those around her feel loved.

Lorrel has taught me to slow down, understand others’ perspectives, and that words and reactions matter. I am a better father, husband, teammate and person because of the life lessons she has taught me over the years. There have been days that I’ve felt like a failure as a dad and as a husband, but each of those days has provided me and my family with valuable life lessons that remind us together, we cannot be broken.

If you are a parent of a special needs child, please don’t hesitate to reach out.